Daytona Beach, 1996
(To Bischoff) The Bash at the Beach is come
Ay, Randy; but not gone.
Hail, Macho Man! read thith promo.
The Giant doth desire you to o’erread,
At your best leisure, this his humble promo.
O Randeh, read mine firthst; for mine’s a thuit
Dat touches Randeh nearer: read it, great Thavage.
What touches the Macho Man himself shall be last served, OH YEAH!
Delay not, Randeh; read it inthstantly.
What, is the son of a plumber mad?
Common Man, get out of the way. WOOOOOO!
What, urge you your petitions in a street fight?
Come to the Ocean Center.
SAVAGE goes up to the Ocean Center, the rest following
EARLY MESSAGE BOARD POSTER
I wish your enterprise to-day may thrive.
What enterprise, unwashed mark?
EARLY MESSAGE BOARD POSTER
Fare you well.
Advances to SAVAGE.
What said that mark, brother?
He wish’d to-day our enterprise might thrive.
I fear your heel turn is discovered.
Look, how he makes to Savage; watch him.
Scott, be quick, for we fear interference.
Hogan, what shall be done? If this be spoiled,
Savage never shall turn back,
For I will get myself counted out.
Scott, be constant:
The basement dweller speaks not of my heel turn;
For, look, he praises Japanese wrestlers, and Savage doth not change.
The Giant knows his time; for, look you, Hogan.
He draws [NAME REDACTED] out of the way.
Exeunt [NAME REDACTED] and THE GIANT.
Where is Scott Hall? Let him go,
And presently start the match with Savage.
He is in the ring: press near and tag with him.
Scott, you are the first that rears your hand with a low blow.
Are we all ready? What is now amiss in WCW
That Macho Man and his tag partners must redress?
Most high, most mighty, and most puissant Macho Man,
The Giant throws before thy boots
An humble heart,—
Listen, I must prevent thee, Giant.
These handshakes and these friendly promos
Might fire the blood of ordinary grapplers,
And turn pre-ordinance and first decree
Into the law of children. Don’t be foolish,
To think that the Macho Man bears such rebel blood
That will be thaw’d from the true quality
With that which melteth jobbers; I mean, sweet words,
Low-crooked court’sies and base babyfacing.
The Taskmaster by decree is best when fighting Hogan:
If thou dost bend and pray and fawn for him,
I spurn thee like a Kennel from Hell match out of my way.
Know, Savage doth not wrong, nor without cause
Will he be satisfied, OH YEAH!
Is there no contender more worthy than myself
To sound more sweetly in great Macho Man’s ear
For a rematch for my beaten partner?
I kiss thy brass ring, but not in flattery, Savage;
Desiring thee that The Taskmaster may
Have an immediate rematch with [NAME REDACTED].
Pardon, Macho Man; Macho Man, pardon:
As low as to thy boot doth Diesel fall,
To beg a rematch for The Taskmaster.
I could be easily booked, if I were as you:
If I could pray to job, jobbing would move me:
But I am constant as the northern five star match,
Of whose true-fix’d and resting quality
There is no fellow on the roster (since Steamboat retired).
The indies are filled with unnumber’d sparks,
They are all fire and every one doth shine,
But there’s but one in all doth hold his place, oh yeah:
So in the world; ‘tis furnish’d well with wrestlers,
And wrestlers are flesh and blood, and botch-prone;
Yet in the number I do know but one
That unassailable holds on his rank,
Unshaked of motion: and that I am he OH YEAH,
Let me a little show it, even in this;
That I was constant Taskmaster should be assailed by [NAME REDACTED]
And constant do remain to keep him so.
O Macho Man,—
Go away! wilt thou gorilla press the ring steps?
Doth not Hogan shirtless kneel?
Speak, hands for me, mang!
SCOTT HALL low blows RANDY SAVAGE, followed by a HULK HOGAN Atomic Leg Drop
Et tu, Hogan! Then fall, Macho Man.
The preceding was adapted from a section of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Act III Scene I.